What Makes a Good Wife

Against my better judgement, I read a Sydney Morning Herald blog about how to be a good wife.

What a load of crap!!!

If I've learnt anything from my married (and unmarried) friends, it's that there are no hard and fast rules as to what makes a good spouse. Everyone's different and everyone requires different things from their partners. I'm lucky enough to have a husband who does the dishes and the washing and sweeps/mops the floors. And he's lucky enough to have a wife who cooks his dinner and cleans the toilet. lol!

But just because we want to share the chores equally, it doesn't mean that every couple needs to do that. Each and every happily married couple I know has found a balance that works for them. Some couples are actually really happy with the gender stereotype that the men mow the lawn and fix the car while the women cook and clean the house.

One thing that really got me riled up is this section here where she's talking about a friend...
"After getting immersed in the hoo-haa of the celebration of her engagement, she followed this with an intense period of organisation of the "perfect" party for the wedding. She became so immersed in finding the perfect dress, the guest list and the honeymoon that she almost forgot about why she was doing it all. Now, six months on, she's slowly realising that there's more to marriage than the wedding accessories. "What lies beneath when all the celebration dies down is darn hard work to keep up with," she said. "Thankfully we have a strong foundation, but I get now why so many couples struggle.""

For goodness sake! Although, I'm sure that some brides to be do get too wrapped up in the celebration and forget what it's really about, it's ridiculous to trivialise marriage to such an extent. If I were her friend, I'd be extremely annoyed at having my words twisted to make me seem like a shallow bridezilla.

Marriage is hard. But it's hard regardless of whether you have a massive princess wedding or a simple registry office affair. It's hard because it's about two individuals coming together in a partnership and commiting to stay together regardless of what happens. No-one tells you just how difficult it is, so when you hit your first major problem, you wonder if you're going to become a statistic.

Marriage is about learning compromise and flexibility, openness and honesty; learning that sometimes it's more important to keep the peace than to be right all the time; that it's okay to admit that you were wrong; that you're constantly growing and changing and as you do, so will your relationship; learning how to support your spouse and how to accept support in return; how to survive the tough times and rejoice in the good. There are so many other lessons, but these are what I've learnt, and what I'm still trying to apply to my marriage - especially the part about admitting you were wrong. Haha!

So Sam, when you're married and you've figured out for yourself what makes you a good wife, then you can write about it, but until then, stick to writing about what you know.